Political
"I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." —George W. Bush, second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004
"So thank you for reminding me about the importance of being a good mom and a great volunteer as well." —George W. Bush, St. Louis, Mos., Jan. 5, 2004
"As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time." —Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, responding to a U.S. soldier serving in Iraq who asked him why troops had to dig through scrap metal to armor vehicles
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —President George W. Bush
"Go, balloons. Go, balloons. Go, balloons … What's happening balloons? There's not enough coming down. All balloons! Why the hell is nothing falling? What the [censored] are you guys doing up there?" —Democratic Convention producer Don Mischer, overheard on CNN having an apoplectic seizure when the balloons failed to drop from the ceiling of the Fleet Center in Boston
"Not only are we going to New Hampshire ... we're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and we're going to California and Texas and New York! And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan. And then we're going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House, Yeeeeeaaaaaargh!" —Howard Dean's Iowa concession speech
"I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman." -Arnold Schwarzenegger, during the recall campaign
"You think you are big enough to make me, you little wimp? Come on, come over here and make me, I dare you…You little fruitcake. You little fruitcake. I said you are a fruitcake." –Democratic Rep. Peter Stark, after Republican Rep. Rep. Scott McInnis told him to "shut up" amid a legislative dispute
"I'm the master of low expectations." —George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003
"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." —George W. Bush, Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004
Compare these two
"The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 13, 2001
"I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." —Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002
Political
"I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." —George W. Bush, second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004
"So thank you for reminding me about the importance of being a good mom and a great volunteer as well." —George W. Bush, St. Louis, Mos., Jan. 5, 2004
"As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time." —Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, responding to a U.S. soldier serving in Iraq who asked him why troops had to dig through scrap metal to armor vehicles
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —President George W. Bush
"Go, balloons. Go, balloons. Go, balloons … What's happening balloons? There's not enough coming down. All balloons! Why the hell is nothing falling? What the [censored] are you guys doing up there?" —Democratic Convention producer Don Mischer, overheard on CNN having an apoplectic seizure when the balloons failed to drop from the ceiling of the Fleet Center in Boston
"Not only are we going to New Hampshire ... we're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and we're going to California and Texas and New York! And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan. And then we're going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House, Yeeeeeaaaaaargh!" —Howard Dean's Iowa concession speech
"I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman." -Arnold Schwarzenegger, during the recall campaign
"You think you are big enough to make me, you little wimp? Come on, come over here and make me, I dare you…You little fruitcake. You little fruitcake. I said you are a fruitcake." –Democratic Rep. Peter Stark, after Republican Rep. Rep. Scott McInnis told him to "shut up" amid a legislative dispute
"I'm the master of low expectations." —George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003
"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." —George W. Bush, Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004
Compare these two
"The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 13, 2001
"I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." —Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002
The most stupid things said in court
Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?
What happened then?
He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Did he kill you?
Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
Were you alone or by yourself?
Can you describe the individual?
He was about medium height and had a beard.
Was this a male or female?
How long have you been a French Canadian?
How far apart were the vehicles at the time of collision?
Mr. Clark, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
I went to Europe, sir.
And did you take your new wife?
Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
That's me.
Were you present when that picture was taken?
Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?
Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
By death.
And by whose death was it terminated?
Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
I'll be three months on November 8.
Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?
Yes.
What were you doing at that time?
Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
I used to be.
How many times have you committed suicide?
So you were gone until you returned?
She had three children, right?
Yes.
How many were boys?
None.
Were there klix?
You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?
You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
Yes.
And these stairs, did they go up also?
Lawyer: What device do you have in your laboratory to test alcohol content?
I have a dual column gas chromatograph, Hewlett-Packard 5710A with flame ionization detectors.
Judge: Can you get that on mag wheels?
Only on the floor models.
Have you lived in this town all your life?
Not yet.
All you responses must be oral, ok? What school did you go to?
Oral.
Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Yes, I have been since early childhood.
Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Brown?
It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
And Mr. Brown was dead at the time, is that correct?
No. He was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!
General Statements
I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future.
We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world.
I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.
It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.
I deserve respect for the things I did not do.