Vic dana 2004/2005/.../2015/20XX

Kulturna dešavanja, predstave, izložbe, festivali, obrazovanje i budućnost mladih...

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anonimni clan
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#5126 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by anonimni clan »

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StLouis
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#5127 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by StLouis »

atko wrote:
drekalica28 wrote:Voditelj: Znači, vi ste pjesnik?
Gost: Da, ja sam pjesnik.
Voditelj: Amater?
Gost: A mater nije, ona je domaćica, malo oko bašte i tako...
:D :D :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
:lol: :lol: jako dobar :lol:
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anonimni clan
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#5128 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by anonimni clan »

hakazvaka wrote:
anonimni clan wrote: Image
:?
Izvinjavam se.........nadam se da je sad malo jasnije...........

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Brada_
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#5129 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by Brada_ »

anonimni clan wrote: Image
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
drekalica28
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#5130 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by drekalica28 »

Došao Mujo kod hodže da ga upita za savjet:
- Znaš šta hodža? Čuo sam da se u mahali otvaraju neke banke pa tamo
staviš svoju lovu, pa ti isplaćuju neke kamate, pa ti onda kao novac
raste ... Reci ti meni kao učen čo'ek, šta ti misliš o tome?
- Znaš šta Mujo, koliko ja znam, a znam, u tuđoj ruci samo k...c raste.

:D :D :lol: :lol:
dario_džamoja
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Joined: 10/10/2009 01:12

#5131 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by dario_džamoja »

Bio Mujo u Amsterdamu i vidi kuravu u izlogu.
Pokuca na prozor i pita kolika je cijena?
Kaze ona 50 eura. a Mujo ce:
Pa i nije skupo, a jel to duplo staklo?
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Fair Life
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Joined: 02/03/2004 00:00

#5132 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by Fair Life »

U jednom gradu bračni par je proslavljao 25. godišnjicu braka.
Oni su bili daleko poznati Po tome što se u 25 godina nisu niti jedan jedini put posvađali.

Novine I televizijske kuće su pristizale as raznih strana DA provjere na licu mjesta u čemu je tajna "uspješnog braka".

Urednik jednih novina upita:
- Gospodine, recite nam u čemu je tajna? Pa to je nevjerovatno kako ste to uspjeli?
Čovjek se nagnu naprijed I prisjećajući se starih Dana provedenih na medenom mjesecu započe priču:

- Bili smo u jednom egzotičnom gradu nakon vjenčanja, bilo je mnogo zabavnog sadržaja. Nakon kraćeg dogovora odlučili smo se na jahanje konja.
Uzeli smo svak svog konja i počeli jahati. Moj je bio miran i poslušan, Ali onaj na kojem je moja žena jahala je bio putpuno lud.
Iznenada, konj se trznu I zbaci moju ženu naglavačke! Ona, potpuno mirna lagano se ispravi, potapša konja Po leđima I progovori tiho:
"Ovo ti je prvi put". Popela se na konja I nastavila jahanje. Nakon kraćeg vremena konj se ponovo trznu i moja žena se nađe na zemlji.
Ponovo ona ustade I smirenim glasom reče: "Ovo ti je drugi put." Ja sam samo posmatrao i nisam se mogao načuditi svojoj ženi, kako je smirena I staložena.
Kada se konj treći put trznu i zbaci moju ženu, ona lagano isuka magnum iz pojasa i hladnokrvno upuca konja na mjestu!
Ja se na to proderah u zaprepaštenju:
- Jesi li normalna, ti luda ženo?!! Ubila si jadnu životinju!!
Žena me smireno pogleda I blagim tonom MI se obrati:
- Ovo ti je prvi put.
- To je to, nakon ovoga smo uvijek sretni I slažemo se, završi muž svoju priču.
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Bosnolog
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#5133 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by Bosnolog »

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StLouis
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#5134 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by StLouis »

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'

OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'
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Chmoljo
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#5135 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by Chmoljo »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Bosnolog
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#5137 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by Bosnolog »

Kad smo kod deda i nana ima onaj kada je jednog sabaha dedu probudla donja glava ,on sav iznenaden i sretan obraduje nanu i onako sav iznenaden rece joj kako izeneadenje ima za nju.
Nana ti sva sretna skoci iz kreveta i rece dedi evo samo da idem piskit odmah se vracam,.....nena zurno skokne do vc solje vraca se nazad kada se vratila vidi dedu sav sheban ,.............pita nana sta je bilo sto si tako tuzan,...... dedo njoj odgovorio sada se mozes ici i p.s ..t,........ :mrgreen:
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StLouis
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#5138 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by StLouis »

Policajac:
- Jel' znate da ne smijete psa voziti na prednjem sjedištu ?!
Vozač:
- Ali to je plišani pas!!!
Policajac:
- Rasa nije bitna ...

:D


Naslonio se debeli policajac na ogradu od vrtića. Kad ide vaspitačica i pita ga:
- „Jel vi čekate dijete?” A on će:
„Ma ne to mi je od piva.”...
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Bosnolog
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#5140 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by Bosnolog »

Rottweiler
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#5141 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by Rottweiler »

Vratila se zagrebcanka sa odmora iz Bosne i hvali se prijateljicama kako je vidjela ku.ac.
Prijateljice je zacudeno pitaju?
Sta je to?
Ma to vam je isto pimpek,samo dva-tri puta vece :D
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-danTe-
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#5142 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by -danTe- »

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1987
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#5143 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by 1987 »

-Na sudu:

Djevojka: Eto, gospodine sudija, krenem ja ulicom, kad mene on zgrabi!
-Crnogorac: Laze, druze sudija, laze, crkla dabogda!
Djevojka: Pa me stade 'vatati, pa pipati, pa kuku mene jadne!
-Crnogorac: Laze kuuurva, laze!
Djevojka: Pa na kraju kad raskopca pantalone...
-Crnogorac: Laze, oko da joj ispadne!
Djevojka: Pa kad izvadi onaj njegov od pola metra...
-Crnogorac: A Boga mi, sto jes' jes'...
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covjek_sam_zeno
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#5144 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by covjek_sam_zeno »



vic svih viceva !
PalaSa Marsa
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#5145 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by PalaSa Marsa »

[quote="anonimni clan"]Moram jos......dzaba je...........
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Kerim je kuul! :D
drekalica28
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#5146 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by drekalica28 »

Haso zove radio stanicu i kaže: "Našao sam novčanik s hiljadu maraka u njemu. Također sam u novčaniku našo ličnu kartu na kojoj pise Cincar Mustafa, Ferhadija 2, Sarajevo."
Kaže voditelj: „Šta mi možemo uraditi za tebe?"
"Možete li biti tako ljubazni, pa za Mustafu pustiti neku veselu pjesmu?" :D :D :lol: :lol:
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L.e.g
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#5148 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by L.e.g »

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black
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#5149 Re: Vic dana 2004/2005/2006/2007/2008/2009/2010

Post by black »

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