Vic dana 2004/2005/.../2015/20XX

[McMoy]

Postao/la exliberal dana 24/09/2009 16:34
Zaustavlja se autobus u Banja Luci i vozač kaže:
- Pauza je 20 minuta, ako neko hoće da ide u WC, popuši cigaretu ili završi fakultet !!!

Genijalan!!!

[JThomas]

evo jedan malo crnji...

došao cigo s djetetom kod doktora:

- doktor, mali ništa ne jede, ne jede meso, ne jede hljeb, ne jede povrće, ne jede ribu...
- pa kako to, zašto to?
- pa nema se, doktor.

[McMoy]

Da prostite, baš mi nezgodno...

Kaze qrac jajima:
- "večeras vas vodim na party!!"
A jaja će na to:
- "tako si nam i prošli put rekao, pa si ti ušao a mi smo ostali vani."

[djani s]

Ozenio se crnogorac i u prvoj bracnoj noci krenu on sa zenom u krevet.

Nakon pola sata lezanja (bez i jedne progovorene rijeci) upita je coce:

Sta je vise, sta cekas, oli ces se podvlacit oli neces?

[McMoy]

Razgovaraju dva pedera:
-Dragi, mislim da sam trudan!
-Po čemu to zaključuješ maco?
-Kasni mi stolica već 7 dana!

[Fair Life]

Gleda Fata neku emisiju o kulinarstvu na TV.....

Suljo: "Sta ti majke ti gledaš kad' i onako neznaš kuhati?"

Fata: "Pa i ti gledaš porniće..."

[McMoy]

Znaš li šta znači kada uđeš u stan, a dočeka te nasmijana i zadovoljna žena?
Znači da si pogriješio stan.

[Bosanac sa dna kace]

Gleda Fata neku emisiju o kulinarstvu na TV.....

Suljo: "Sta ti majke ti gledaš kad' i onako neznaš kuhati?"

Fata: "Pa i ti gledaš porniće..."

[hakazvaka]

40 Fun things to do in an elevator

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, 'Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!'

2. Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.

3. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

4. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

5. Shave.

6. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: 'Got enough air in there?'

7. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

8. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

9. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

10. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

11. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom.

12. Do Tai Chi exercises.

13. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: 'I've got new socks on!'

14. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, 'Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!'

15. Meow occasionally.

18. Frown and mutter 'gotta go, gotta go' then sigh and say 'oops!'

19. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

20. Sing 'Mary had a little lamb' while continually pushing buttons.

21. Holler 'Chutes away!' whenever the elevator descends.

22. Leave a box between the doors.

23. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

24. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers 'through' it.

25. Start a sing-along.

26. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask 'is that your beeper?'

27. Play the harmonica.

28. Say 'Ding!' at each floor.

29. Lean against the button panel.

30. Say 'I wonder what all these do' and push the red buttons.

31. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

32. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space.'

33. Bring a chair along.

34. Blow spit bubbles.

35. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

36. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

37. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

38. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers.

39. Stare at your thumb and say 'I think it's getting larger.'

40. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler 'Bad touch!'

[kolega]

[drekalica28]

40 Fun things to do in an elevator

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, 'Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!'

2. Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.

3. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

4. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

5. Shave.

6. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: 'Got enough air in there?'

7. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

8. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

9. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

10. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

11. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom.

12. Do Tai Chi exercises.

13. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: 'I've got new socks on!'

14. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, 'Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!'

15. Meow occasionally.

18. Frown and mutter 'gotta go, gotta go' then sigh and say 'oops!'

19. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

20. Sing 'Mary had a little lamb' while continually pushing buttons.

21. Holler 'Chutes away!' whenever the elevator descends.

22. Leave a box between the doors.

23. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

24. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers 'through' it.

25. Start a sing-along.

26. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask 'is that your beeper?'

27. Play the harmonica.

28. Say 'Ding!' at each floor.

29. Lean against the button panel.

30. Say 'I wonder what all these do' and push the red buttons.

31. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

32. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space.'

33. Bring a chair along.

34. Blow spit bubbles.

35. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

36. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

37. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

38. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers.

39. Stare at your thumb and say 'I think it's getting larger.'

40. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler 'Bad touch!'

Jao što me lijepo nasmija!

[tandrkalo]

40 Fun things to do in an elevator

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, 'Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!'

2. Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.

3. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

4. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

5. Shave.

6. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: 'Got enough air in there?'

7. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

8. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

9. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

10. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

11. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom.

12. Do Tai Chi exercises.

13. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: 'I've got new socks on!'

14. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, 'Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!'

15. Meow occasionally.

18. Frown and mutter 'gotta go, gotta go' then sigh and say 'oops!'

19. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

20. Sing 'Mary had a little lamb' while continually pushing buttons.

21. Holler 'Chutes away!' whenever the elevator descends.

22. Leave a box between the doors.

23. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

24. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers 'through' it.

25. Start a sing-along.

26. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask 'is that your beeper?'

27. Play the harmonica.

28. Say 'Ding!' at each floor.

29. Lean against the button panel.

30. Say 'I wonder what all these do' and push the red buttons.

31. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

32. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space.'

33. Bring a chair along.

34. Blow spit bubbles.

35. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

36. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

37. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

38. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers.

39. Stare at your thumb and say 'I think it's getting larger.'

40. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler 'Bad touch!'

Jao što me lijepo nasmija!

istakla bi i ove

[pape]

@diler, .... zbog neukusnog vica o Ausvicu, ban 14 dana.

[Halleluhwah]

40 Fun things to do in an elevator

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, 'Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!'

2. Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.

3. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

4. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

5. Shave.

6. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: 'Got enough air in there?'

7. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

8. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

9. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

10. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

11. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom.

12. Do Tai Chi exercises.

13. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: 'I've got new socks on!'

14. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, 'Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!'

15. Meow occasionally.

18. Frown and mutter 'gotta go, gotta go' then sigh and say 'oops!'

19. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

20. Sing 'Mary had a little lamb' while continually pushing buttons.

21. Holler 'Chutes away!' whenever the elevator descends.

22. Leave a box between the doors.

23. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

24. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers 'through' it.

25. Start a sing-along.

26. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask 'is that your beeper?'

27. Play the harmonica.

28. Say 'Ding!' at each floor.

29. Lean against the button panel.

30. Say 'I wonder what all these do' and push the red buttons.

31. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

32. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space.'

33. Bring a chair along.

34. Blow spit bubbles.

35. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

36. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

37. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

38. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers.

39. Stare at your thumb and say 'I think it's getting larger.'

40. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler 'Bad touch!'

Jao što me lijepo nasmija!

istakla bi i ove

Could you be loved...

[PalaSa Marsa]

Eh super!

[PalaSa Marsa]

Prilikom posjeta psihijatrijskoj bolnici jedan posjetitelj pita direktora
bolnice na osnovu cega odlucuju koga ce primiti u bolnicu na lijecenje.

- "Vrlo jednostavno," odgovori direktor, "stavimo ga pred kadu punu vode i
damo mu cajnu zlicicu, casu i kantu i kazemo mu da isprazni kadu na najbrzi
nacin."

- "Aha, razumijem," kaze posjetitelj, "onaj koji je normalan, pocne vaditi
vodu s kantom."

- "Ne," kaze direktor, "onaj koji je normalan izvuce cep sa dna kade. Zelite
li sobu s balkonom ili bez?"

[PalaSa Marsa]

bebe rodjene na isti dan....beba teska 8,7 kg

[black]

Žali se Mujo Hasi da mu zafrkavaju sina u školi i da su mu dali
nadimak.
"Koji nadimak?"
"Urac!"
"A koje mu je pravo ime?"
"Enis!"

[PalaSa Marsa]

Razgovaraju dva pedera:
-Dragi, mislim da sam trudan!
-Po čemu to zaključuješ maco?
-Kasni mi stolica već 7 dana!

[McMoy]

Šetala Crvenkapa kroz šumu i naiđe na Pinokia,zgrabi ga i baci na zemlju,
pa mu sjedne na nos i kaže mu:" Laži Pinokio, laži!!"

[todd_smith]

Šetala Crvenkapa kroz šumu i naiđe na Pinokia,zgrabi ga i baci na zemlju,
pa mu sjedne na nos i kaže mu:" Laži Pinokio, laži!!"

kakve li ti bajke citas

[PalaSa Marsa]

[McMoy]

Izvinjavam se ako je vec bio!!

Sretne pijetao malo pile kako puši na ulici.
- Što radiš? Tužit ćcu te tati i mami!
- zaboli me, ja sam iz inkubatora.

[McMoy]

PROLJEĆE
KAŽE SIN MAJCI : "STIGLO JE PROLJEĆE !"
"KAKO ZNAŠ ?" PITA GA ONA.
"ENO VISI BABA U KUPAONICI !" KAŽE SIN.

[123456]

Anti-Hercegovacki
Zaustavlili novinari Sulju koji je upravo izasao iz kafane , pa ga pitaju : "Sta tebi znace tri slova, BiH" ?
Suljo, pjan ko letva, odgovara: "BoSna i.. Harmonika"