Evo jos par mitova koje su Amerikanci primjetili da su posebno vazni kod srba
Serbia had a plan to be a huge sprawling nation compromising of large chunks of Southern and Eastern Europe within its historically recognized borders of Karlobag, Karlovac, Virovitica, Ogulin, and Tokyo. As legend tells us, this scam reached back to many many millenniums BC when a Slavic-Klingon tribe settled in the area. Way in those days, tribesmen built Byzantium-style churches on the holy soil of Kosovo(and Metohija too), marking the onset of human civilization.
Historians still argue how did this tribe end up in the Balkans for centuries before klix Slavic migration, or just why would they build Byzantine-style churches more than 5 millenniums before klix Byzantium and Christianity. It's probably an internal joke between the tribesmen which modern historians don't really get. Only historical documents mentioning Serbs in this period were written by members of tribe themselves.
The Beginning
Earliest mention of the Serbs among ancient Greek historians is after the Battle of Phillipolis where army of Smurfs, 15 little man strong, took over Macedonia, ahem South Serbia. Papa Smurf ruled the country until he was called-up for trial in (the?) Haag (Hague).
Serbs' first contact with Roman Empire was in 31AD, when the invading Roman army was decimated by two sleeping toddlers. Chiefs of Serbian tribes, after a night of heavy drinking, decided that it would "be hot" to go invade Rome, which they promptly did. Multi-party constitutional democracy was instituted; much more liberal than the old Roman Republic, and Rome reached new Golden Age in a few short months. However, since they were defeated by a handful of drunken barbarians, Roman historians decided to ignore this period after the Serbs sobered up and went home to get breakfast, leaving emperor Tiberius free to restore old Imperial system.
Subsequent Serbian adventures mildly annoyed other people of that age in south Europe, and the mighty Hun force was immediately accepted as a saviour by those poor victims of Serb oppression and Serb lack of personal hygiene. Nowadays, this is widely regarded as a gross miscalculation.
Other Southern Slavs that began arriving in the 6th century were not impressed by their new neighbors, and often complained that they were too loud and smelly.
Worst conflict ever for Serbian people was one with Ottomans at Battle of Kosovo (or Serbia), in 1389. There, a great Ottoman army was crushed by Serbs, after the battle lasting 17 minutes. Serbs, as said, kicked their butts, but by a lowbrow backstabbing plan plotted by (probably?) the Vatican, Turks got into Serbia somehow and stayed there for a long 500 years to come. None of the modern history's "books" (Serbians refuse to write due to religious beliefs) don't tell anything about the Serbian magnificent victory, but who cares. Serbs celebrated as if they supremely won this battle.
Culture
At first, linking the terms "Culture" and "Serbia" together might seem like a special kind of moron, an oxymoron. Nevertheless, this section will be completed as soon as there is something to write about.
Baja mali Knindža (Tough Guy Little Ninja from Knin) on cover of his best selling album "Halt Turkish Pashas and Croatian Ustashas" so far. It is rumored that album was sold in more than 5 copies!
