What are the most bizarre conspiracy theories in the world?
Sit down, this will be a long and interesting one.
Do you know the city of Saint-Petersburg, Russia? No?
Yes, the second largest city in Russia, etc, etc, etc, just open Wikipedia if you are not sure what I am talking about.
So, basic history: the city was founded in 1703 by first Russian Emperor Peter the Great as a result of victorious war with Sweden. Seems boring and ordinary, nothing to conspire? Hah, wait for it.
Recently, a very interesting sect of freaks have emerged out of nowhere. These guys believe in one general thing: we all got the history of Saint Petersburg wrong. The city was not founded there in 1703. Instead, the city is several millenia old, was built by some extinct ancient super-advanced civilisation. Russians just “stumbled” on the city and claimed it as theirs, partially digging it up from the dirt. (I wonder when will we see a more radical version of ancient Russians genociding inhabitants of this city to claim it for themselves, but nevermind.)
Yes, the fact that Swedes have explored these places in 14th century, and Hansa traded with Novgorod using this route in 13th century and no one mentioned a huge abandoned super-advanced city on the river banks is irrelevant. St. Petersburg “just existed” back then.
Then they go the good old road of “Pyramid Conspiracy” theorists, claiming that it was impossible to build certain buildings in 17–18th centuries using their technologies.
First of all, monument to the Peter I:
You see, the rock is a bit larger than it seems, originally it was a freaking 1500-tonn monolith, that was transported using nothing but hands, ropes, rolling sledges and horses 8000 meters, then it was sailed on its place:
These guys claim that “there was no technologies in the end of 18th century to do such a feat of engineering, Russia was backwards” (and it must be aliens with their antigravity beams that put it there).
What next:
Alexander Column. This monument was er… erected in 1834 to commemorate Russian victory over Napoleon.
Then again, “such a huge monolith, it was impossible to do it so smoothly, it was impossible to transport it in place (1600 tons), it must be ancient hyperboreans that built it there, and Russians just claimed it for themselves”.
And of course it was impossible for Russian to build St. Isaac’s Cathedral for 50 years in 19th century!
Just look at this: this is obviously too advanced for middle 19th century! This was sure as hell built 5000 years ago by atlantes, or hyperboreans, or reptilians, or Zeta Reticulans, whatever.
But the most striking argument is this:
Petropavlovsk Fortress, and all other bastion forts, are ancient buildings of aliens. You see, they are “too perfect for this world, their technologies, they are mathematically pure and there were no military reasons to build such contraptions”. Yes, these guys are not familiar with military history and history of fortifications in particular.
Some of them go as far as claiming that all bastion forts in the world are alien origin (Starports for UFOs, probably).
You see, a typical conspiracy theorists (usually not the brightest fellow) looks at this:
And gets impressed (I agree, bastion forts ARE Magnificent). But then they start to look for “the secret truth that is definitely out there”. And of course they find it, like “the truth that it was impossible to build such sharp and precise angles in 19th century”.
These guys perfectly get along with “conspiracy history” nuts. Have you heard about them too? Well, these guys simply believe that all our pre-20th century history is re-written. For example:
There was a huge nuclear war in late 1700s-early 1800s. 1816, the very cold year, was, according to them, a nuclear winter. The only thing they can’t get straight is: who nuked whom. Some go as far as claim that Napoleon Grande Armee was nuked in Moscow in 1812 by Russians. Some say that Earth in general suffered a total of 800 Megatons of nuclear explosions “from extraterrestrial source”. Some really try to prove that it was Hyperboreans that went on an all-out nuclear exchange with… well, I always forget with whom. Was it Atlants? Or Reptillians? Yeah, Reptillians. Jews-reptillians from the Nibiru, of course.
There are almost no old forests on old photos, they are all young. Meaning: forests in Europe were burned in nuclear war (of course, a silly notion of “people chopped down and used all older trees” is out of question).
They Really love to pinpoint existing bastion forts on maps and draw connections between them, believing that they were created by this older civilisation for reasons unknown, something like Nasca Lines in Peru. Somebody, please, give them a book on military fortifications in 19 century. Pleeeease!
… and many more crazy arguments for “everything is fake, we are the ones who know the Terrible Truth”.
And yes, these guys are not trolling. They are not semi-trolls like Flat Earthers. They really, sincerely believe in all this stuff. I checked it. Double-checked it. I am sure about it.
This is almost a medical condition.
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